end road I
History written by: Agent Macgirl (xfiles_macgirl @ lycos) and XLiz (lizeth@tutopia.com).
Summary : When the guilt take over more than your own spirit.
Disclaimer: The story is told here is a tribute to the television series The X-Files is not intended to violate copyright.
Type: Angst, XF, POV, MSR.
Timeline: The story is set after the events of Chapter Orison of the seventh year.
\u0026lt;/ b> SPOILERS \u0026lt;/ b>: # 7ABx07Orison, # 4ABx02Teliko, # 1ABx12Fire, # 5ABx18Pine Bluff Variant. Thanks
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Macgirl Agent: First I want to say I have a lot of fun writing with XLiz, and never thought I would share my ideas so easily with someone. I thank her for their collaboration, not only in writing this story, but with the videos. I hope this is the beginning of a great and productive friendship X-Phile. Dedicated to my little sister, who has unwittingly been a source of inspiration to write this story;) Dedicated to CHV, thanks for all your support and inspiration, love you. A special greeting to all and all those who have sent me comments from my previous writings, thank you very much.
XLiz : This story was written from the point of view characters. Thanks to Agent Macgirl to be the best that my Mulder Scully could desire. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The sun slips through the cracks of the shutter making of all colors see spots before my eyes adjust back to daylight. The sound of morning news broadcasts on TV still on, is confused with the typical early morning noise from my apartment building. The particular sound of the morning paper hitting the door has been the cause of my sudden awakening.
is strange how human beings are accustomed to their environment with incredible ease. I used to sleep on the couch night after night without further hesitation and now to awaken in him I miss my bed with a compelling need, the back is killing me and my limbs are numb, so that he could almost swear that my right hand to someone else. I guess
Scully also feel strange waking up in my bed and not his, but after the events of yesterday is certain that the discomfort is the last thing that crosses your mind: Donie Pfaster X-Files is now closed with a conclusion no less harmful than their appearances in our lives.
was clear that the case was bothering Scully, and how should I not, after the bastard kidnapped and was about to take his life? Sometimes it amazes me capacity I have to believe him when he puts on his armor and pretend that all is well, after how many? "Six?, No, seven years of working with him and should learn to differentiate their rigid professionalism of courage lies disguised to avoid showing his vulnerable side.
And I failed a second time.
Even though my instincts told me that the case was over and that the necrómano still waiting for the right time to wrap up the trophy that had failed to achieve five years ago, my best option was to allow him to return alone to his apartment and become prey easy for the damned.
not imagine the suffering they endured while preparing her attacker which fortunately, in any case by my statement, became his deathbed. It did not go into details to know that a victim was not scary and struggled with his last breath to prolong his own existence. The bruises on his cheeks, the pajamas ripped and marks on his wrists is an image I can not erase from my mind.
And just when it seemed he could not get any worse, it happened. Dam
anger, hopelessness, helplessness accumulated, took revenge for his own hand. His gun was the instrument of his apology and she ended up in seconds with the life of unhappy.
And for the third time I failed.
I could not arrive in time to avert catastrophe. I could not save her from her attacker, nor of their own demons, which forced them to put their integrity on the line and transfer its principles based on a thirst for revenge, which, although justified, there never will be reconciled with its rigid moral.
I can not deny that part of me is glad to see the conclusion of Pfaster and I was relieved that the negligible out once and for all of our lives, Scully's life. But on the other hand, I felt I had lost a part of it in the process, and I know she knows it too. It is a wound that will heal and that will remain etched in memory and soul of both even when never mention it. As I said last night before passing to persuade her to stay in my apartment, she can be sure you never reveal his secret because to me it is justice.
How would because this was the last time I promise not to fail again? How would not having to expose the murderers never insane, not tangled in my personal crusades and in the end it is most affected, and who ends up picking up the pieces?
- Mulder, did not know you liked to watch MTV.
And suddenly her voice brought me back to reality.
had been changing channels without realizing it, dreaming with open eyes, thinking without regard to what happened around me.
Scully is lying on its side just behind me with disheveled hair, barefoot and wearing a white shirt and black cotton trousers. For some reason your presence in my apartment at this hour of the morning I was a little intimidated.
- You'd be surprised what can be educational.
His inquisitive blush I would not be because she knows so well my fetishes and voluptuous women that we have gradually learned to live and even joke about it.
Implicit in our language, that we have built with over the years and about both physical and spiritual shock, joke has become the equivalent of avoiding the problems and help express our innermost fears.
glanced at her and I can see the aftermath of an unwanted tears in his eyes. I know that like me, she's not ready to talk about their regrets and their emotions so I get up slowly walked to the kitchen.
turn on the machine and look in the cabinets and refrigerator something to offer to my pleasant but unexpected visit. As expected not find more than a few bags of popcorn and microwave frozen food. Way back to the living room and to my surprise I find there to Scully. I hear the water running in the bathroom.
- I'll get something to eat, be right back.
The tone of my voice is loud enough to hear me from the shower, but do not see any response from you. Term to tie my shoes and scribbled a note on a piece of paper left on the coffee table.
grab the keys to the entrance while I look out the window, morning is a typical capital city except for one thing, people seem to have more quickly than usual, I observe more carefully and get to see how an incipient drizzle drops waves forming in puddles left by rain the previous night.
I turn around and make a final stop in the kitchen before facing the typical cold winter in Washington. Nothing like a cup of coffee to start the day.
- Damn!
The unique sound of my mobile device makes divert my attention and I end up spilling a considerable amount of coffee outside the container. He grabbed a paper towel and clean the counter letting the liquid fall to the ground. When finished cleaning, I notice an unusual coloration on the dermis of my right hand.
Apparently the high temperature of the liquid burned my skin, strangely I do not feel any discomfort. I move my fingers just to check I can do and decide to forget the incident. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
feel the light shine in my eyes still closed, I open my mind but something makes me fear what will I see when I do.
a deep breath and listen to how far the characteristic sounds of dawn in the city. My brain insists on waking, but my soul just wants to rest a bit more, not so soon have to face this cruel world, full of hate and evil in which we live.
I wish everything would have been a nightmare. Horrible and horrifying, but a nightmare after all. With eyes still closed, I remember piece by piece what happened last night and I shudder.
As Mulder always appeared in time to save, only this time do not hold back and I did not behave as usual victim, even as Dana Scully to say know.
Something in me decided to rebel against all that pain and evil that had caused me Pfaster years. Something that I'm still not sure where appropriate.
all happened very fast, and I could not think clearly until Mulder took my gun and I shook slightly. I was shocked and I knew. I felt a repulsive mixture of adrenaline and pain.
I began to feel the effects on my body had stopped the beating of that unhappy, just at the moment Mulder offered to take me to his apartment.
as I could not find the strength to, as she packed a few things, not to pass out or worse vomiting. But more painful still was the feeling of emptiness that filled my heart and my soul. A sort of black hole that sucked all my emotions and kept me in an almost vegetative.
and as we were about to leave, appeared Skinner. He was so impressed to see my state, we could not do more than follow their orders, and go to the nearest hospital to be checked and healed my wounds. The body obviously, because the etched soul forever.
Our brain tries to help hide the bad times and I thank God for that. Forget or minimize the sensation of pain soon after having gone through a trauma. We cry to wash our soul and to regain our control of the situation. We talked to anyone about what happened and we feel better after having done so.
But I've only been able to mourn in silence. My soul lay hidden under the large protective shell of Special Agent even until after we left the hospital.
And when we got here, Mulder's apartment, was both the fatigue and the effect of pain medication, I could barely give me a quick shower and receive a hot cup of tea I took to bed before falling asleep. I know
Mulder looked at me with eyes of concern and anxiety. It seems that once again pounce else wants all the blame for what happened to me. You should have seen him, should have calmed down a little, what the hell! Should have allowed me to embrace and help me endure all this.
But I was stronger in the weight of so much suffering and shame for having fallen prey to my own instincts against Pfaster, which did the opposite of what I wanted and came away. I said thanks and said goodbye to sleep, or so I told him.
I cried a little and not making much noise before falling asleep, I believe that Mulder did not notice and is just as well. I'm still not ready to talk to him because he will try to convince me that it was OK to shoot the unfortunate that, even though I know it is not so.
finally summon the courage to open his eyes and again I feel pain throughout the body. And I guess the nice brands that I have for several days and would like to see myself in a mirror to begin to think like hide. Last night I decided
a white shirt and black pants my exercise, I do not know if I can get back on my one of my pajamas again without having bad memories. I know
seems strange, but I asked Mulder and Skinner do not tell my mom anything about it yet. I could not bear to look in his eyes, once again, concern and fear for me and my tragic life choice. Best wait for the worst of my physical wounds go through and so will be less the impression that she will have to see me. Luckily the two understood my reasons.
hear strange music in the room, so I get up very slowly go out to see what happens to Mulder, definitely, because that's not his style.
And there is, sitting on the couch with the TV on with the remote pointed and the MTV channel as in spend a video screen of a rap group that I have ever seen, surrounded of course, women with little clothing dancing to music. Trying to disguise
everything bad I feel, despite how bad I see me, I look my best expression of rebuke
- Mulder, did not know you liked to watch MTV.
know that I've noticed his distraction, therefore implements its trademark humor known as Mulder.
- You'd be surprised what can be educational.
feel somewhat uncomfortable to see me here, at this time and this appearance. I notice the way I look and try to conceal the situation with a smile. If I see him in this sorry state'd feel the same.
Turn off the TV, get up off the couch and goes to the kitchen. None of us is very good to talk, that's how things have been almost from the outset and not how they could change, just face our fears, like when I had cancer, and we hope that the other is there to support us, but never talk about what we feel.
For I know the smell is warming coffee, and only God knows how much I would serve a good cup of coffee now, but I'm starting to feel bad about myself, I feel in my face all I've cried, and wanted to change to try to recover my energy and my appearance every day, to feel again back to normal. Well, as much as living with Mulder permits.
So while he continues in the kitchen, walk to the bathroom and prepare myself to take a refreshing shower. I open the faucet, trying to get a proper temperature, not too hot but not too cold, something to help me relax a bit my sore be.
just take off my shirt I can see myself in the mirror and I should not have wished before. It's horrible.
I have the torso covered in bruises and marks on his arms where the unhappy that tried to hold me. If I turn slightly I can see the marks on my back, starting to turn purple.
I have also somewhat swollen and bruised cheek, as is my upper lip, my nose is a little red but thank God there was no fracture and I can see a small mark on my lower lip, which actually hurts worse than it looks .
I avoid it, but I can not have started the tears fall freely, bathing my face and following its course towards the floor. And yet I have not seen my legs!
wonder I have that feeling of malaise and weakness, if not for the calming and analgesic was prescribed at the hospital last night, now I really feel like I am, as I have been beaten. I feel
on the ground with care and let rest my troubled mind. Pick up my legs and hug, lay my head back and support my forehead on my knee. I feel like as a child, after falling and hurting myself, hurt my pride more than my little legs. But the big difference is that on those occasions, I could always count on my mom by my side to hug and comfort when needed.
I drop tears like water falling from the shower. Dana cries, cries that the only way you'll feel better. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The 45th Street Deli is definitely my favorite, those occasional weekends in which FBI decided that is enough for me and let me jogging for a while, this is my chosen place to replenish the calories lost during exercise. My choice is simple breakfast: scrambled eggs with Canadian bacon, coffee with cream accompanied by small croissants and a couple of waffles.
- Hello Fred. The usual for me and ... what is your recommended for a slender woman of the nineties that the lunch with a glass of 9 ounces of yogurt diet by adding bee pollen to avoid the extra calories?
- We were lucky last night, eh Mulder? Fred
looks away their pancakes while cleaning your hands on the apron of insurance was ever white. I reached a menu pointing to a specific part the same 'diet Breakfast: 1 piece of fresh fruit + 1 fat latte. "
- You know Mulder, you should not walk with these blisters discovered there.
To my surprise, the reddish color of the surface of my hand is transformed into small bubbles in the course of a few minutes and still I do not feel any pain.
I ask Fred to pack food to go and return home with the firm conviction to prevent me Scully learns of child annoyance, right now the last thing she needs is another problem to deal with your idiot friend.
first thing I hear when I enter the apartment is the importunate ringing cell again. Disclaimer paper bag on the hall table and prepare myself to answer it.
- Mulder. The unmistakable voice
deputy director speaks to me across the line. A drawback of paperwork required the presence of an official X-Files in the FBI immediately. Under normal circumstances, Skinner would not hesitate one second to call Scully to solve this kind of problem, no doubt the two she is the one that best manages the bureau's guidelines. But after yesterday's incident, Scully is not able to solve problems of any kind, that is something that both Skinner as I know. Although
last night after leaving us in the hospital which reviewed Scully, Skinner promised not to contact us so that we take a short break, kicked myself for not doing so now. This sudden departure gives me the perfect excuse to visit, without her noticing, to a medical doctor about the condition of my right hand now seems to be moving rapidly into the forearm.
Scully continues in the shower, I guess I would also require a long time under water to try to take the stench of someone as repugnant as Pfaster.
- Doctor Moore?
After countless visits to hospitals across the country is hardly understandable that you should have your speed dial list a or two doctors that aid in case of emergency.
After explaining briefly the 'symptoms', if you can call it that way when they do not feel any, the doctor graciously agrees to give me a space in your daily agenda. Scored on a piece of paper the hospital management that I attend.
- I know well that hospital, Doc would not be the first time that I am a guest in their facilities.
hang up the phone and rushed to the exit road. I make a mental note to call Scully from the car and alert you to the unexpected departure to the FBI, that will give me more time. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Wearing just
bathrobe, her hair still wet and feeling a little better, I leave the bathroom decided to talk to Mulder.
need to talk to someone, I need to vent my feelings and only he could understand at this time. After everything we've seen, only he could understand the feeling that leaves have been faced with the dark forces do not know if you've been victorious or defeated.
And besides, I need to tell it was not her fault, because I know I've been thinking, after all these years I know that you feel you must protect at all times. Although I know I've said many times that I need their protection, and I can take care of myself.
I mean that now I need you by my side, I want to protect me, I'm already tired of living pretending bravery when actually tremble with fear at the thought that someday I will die at the hands of a cursed as Pfaster. I'm tired of having to be the perfect FBI agent, I need a break from all this, but to do it, I need him with me, by my side.
I go the bathroom and look in your room, not here. He took the suitcase to leave last night to one side of the bed and looking for something comfortable to wear, I decide to jeans and a long sleeve shirt to try to cover some of these horrible bruises. Term
fix, I tend the bed and keep my personal stuff. The custom is stronger than me, and I decide to organize some of Mulder as well. As no plans to have visitors last night did not have time to fix your mess a little tidy.
It's been several minutes since I left the bathroom and I have not seen Mulder, this in itself is very, very strange, so I leave the room to find him. There's nobody here.
guess he was hungry, and continue to the kitchen, I feel the smell of hot coffee, but here again I find. So I returned to the room and sit on the couch to think that they have done now, I do not know because I am a little worried, if it is normal that Mulder is gone without say anything.
Then I see on the table the scribbled note held by a copy of the Lone Gunman, which I can easily distinguish the words of Mulder.
Scully, I went to buy some breakfast Mulder
I feel a great relief to know that at least has not left behind some stupid track of a sighting in the Patagonia. And not because they may be likely to have UFOs in Patagonia, but because, knowing Mulder, minimum is lost in passing through the Andes. Of just remember the chill of that latitude it gives me goosebumps.
then wait until I decide to return my host, so I settle on the couch and turn on the TV. I hope not meet such a channel has not hired him. Meeting
Discovery Channel and I am ready to relax with a very interesting documentary about ... mutations and evolution in humans. God, even when I can break away a little of this sort of thing. Well, it interesting, so I stopped and tried to settle down the best that I let my aching body. -------------------------
almost two hours have passed since Mulder left, the film just yet, but my gut tells me I need to eat something and soon. In addition, waiting to eat something first, I have not taken any pain pills, and therefore I can not or breathing without complaint.
I get up slowly and look in the medicine room to catch me.
What could have happened to Mulder?, Now if I'm worrying, indeed, if it were a normal day would not surprise me, but after the Pfaster, I doubt that Mulder is like so long away from me. I know enough to know that should be in protective mode over at least a week.
I go to the kitchen and took a glass of water to take my pills when I go out into the hall I see something I'm not sure I noticed before.
There is a paper bag, nicely wrapped, on the table beside the door.
leave pills and the glass on the coffee table and gently took the bag, not that I'm as paranoid as Mulder, but it's been so much better to be cautious. Carefully I open
paper bag, and I see my breath. Mulder is the food that went out to buy some time ago. Saco
a small tray of fruit salad and what apparently is a container of coffee.
And then where is Mulder?!
I do not like at all, something tells me I should find him, so run to the room and look for my cell phone. Their number is the first speed dial. Rings but no answer, so I let it ring until the operator leaves exasperating message saying that the user can not answer me now, to leave a voice message. Hang.
- Devils Mulder, answer!
I decide to start looking in other places where it might be now. Marco then to his office, * our * office, but no one answers. Setting the direct Skinner's office.
- AD Skinner
I answer as always in that authoritative tone that makes me doubt whether it is worth putting it on top of all this.
- Lord, it's me, Scully
- Agent Scully thought you were lying, "something happens?
After so many years, the man know that Mulder and Scully are synonymous with problems.
- Well, no sir, what happens is that I find to Mulder and I have not seen since early this morning, and I was wondering if ...
- I called this morning, Scully, and I know I came to complete a paperwork, but that was a very early hour, I have understood that there was slow down to almost nothing in the office and go to deliver the records to Kimberly.
- Sir, as you know, I ... I installed on Mulder's apartment for a couple of days, and ...
- If Scully, Mulder told me last night.
- Well, he left a note this morning but has not returned ... and does not answer the phone ..., sir, I think something might have happened.
- Scully, are you sure about this?
- Yes sir, I know that Mulder did not move away without saying anything ... and so after ...
- Well, I understand, do not worry, right now I find out who and when he was in the building one last time.
- Gracias señor
Cuelgo el teléfono y me dispongo a llamar al único lugar en donde se me ocurre que podría estar Mulder, cuando no está en la oficina o conmigo. The Lone Gunmen hiding.
Throughout the conversation with Skinner I could not sit still, and now I realize I've been walking from side to side of the room like a poor caged tiger. I decide I'd better calm a bit before calling the boys.
I am in bed with Mulder, deep breath, and under one of the most used contacts stored in my cell.
- Lone Gunman
- Frohike me, Scully, please turn off the recorder.
- Agent Scully!, I'm glad to hear, right now I turn this thing if it bothers ... Go!
- Thank you.
- But tell me, that I owe the honor of your call?
- Frohike, what happens, I'm looking for Mulder.
- What happens? "Again is in trouble?
doubt for a moment if I say the same thing I told Skinner, so I opted to keep some discretion, after all, has not yet happened.
- No, at least not that I know, what happens is that I remain to meet me this morning and still not appear, I tried calling her cell phone, but does not respond, so I thought that you might have seen ...
- Well ... I have not seen Scully, but ... give me a minute.
in the background I hear the voices of Langly and Byers, Frohike speaks to them and they answer something not quite understand. Then silence. I guess that should be looking at each other puzzled and intrigued to know that is happening here.
- Scully
- Dime Frohike
- We do not know anything about him, the boys have not talked to Mulder for at least three days, and ... I talked to him yesterday morning, but I said nothing wrong ... Scully, What happens? I think
wait a little longer before worrying, because knowing them as I do, are able to invent some crazy conspiracy theory, and get into worse trouble for everyone.
- It is not important Frohike, I'll wait a little longer, maybe he had something and do not delay, thanks anyway.
- Scully, promise me, if not listed, call me so we can help you find it, do not want to see you too stuck in their problems.
- Frohike's okay, if I need your help I will call, and do not worry, I will take care of myself. That last little
and convinces him because I did not think so, at least not before the whole thing with Pfaster. They are the first effects of my encounter with the damned.
- Great Scully, then we will watch.
- Thanks Frohike
I'm more worried than before.
leave the phone in bed and breathe deeply, trying to think clearly what to do. ---------------------------------
I am desperate. Now * if * I'm desperate.
has spent at least an hour and a half since I called the boys, and Mulder still no calls or appears.
I searched your calendar on your desktop, and also a lot of doodles and phone numbers of contacts of dubious reputation, nothing found.
So I have ventured to search through your wardrobe and see if there was any clue, and I just found out that he likes the cartoon boxers, I found one of the Simpsons, one of Taz and a pair with Martians and UFOs. I wonder if they might not use them when we work, because in a couple of situations we have done in the hospital, never saw one like that.
already about to lose patience, I decided to sit again at his desk, looking for inspiration in something that can give me the solution to this anxiety that overwhelms me.
And then I see another detail that was overlooked. It is truly a shame that I could think of looking in the bin next to it on your desktop.
I see a few crumpled papers there. So I take the trash and get up on the desk. A receipt for the laundry, nothing strange about it ... an invoice for the purchase of a pair of new tennis shoes ... a sales receipt from the supermarket ... a small piece of ... notebook. Dr. Moore
Vincent Medical Center 1900 Massachusetts Avenue SE White
think I found a clue! Now I have to find out who is Dr. Moore and Mulder would score it in this paper. Seeking
directory under the TV table. Mulder saves are there, because I usually ask for food at home when we bring a report to finish here in his apartment. Seeking
in the relevant section and ... here it is!, White Vincent Medical Center.
Setting the switch and after listening to the machine telling me that mark where I want to talk and a lot more than silly, and when I am about to give a shout, the option to talk to a secretary.
- White Vincent Medical Center, good afternoon, Hanns Grace speaks, I can help.
At least it looks nice, should not, but I'll use my influence as a government agent.
- Miss Hanns, I'm Special Agent Scully, the FBI, I need to speak with Dr. Moore please, it's official business.
- please give me one second agent, and I will communicate. Chirp
a couple of times the size of the doctor.
- Doctor Moore.
- Doctor, good afternoon, spoke with Special Agent Dana Scully, FBI.
- Agent Scully, "I can help?
- Doctor need to ask some questions, do you know Agent Mulder?
- You mean Fox Mulder?
- Yes, do you know?
- Well, yes, I attended a couple of times, but could not give more information because it is confidential.
- I understand, doctor, I'm the Doctor, too, and it happens that Agent Mulder is my partner, therefore I asked him about it, because I have to confirm whether he had an appointment with you today.
- Yes, I had an appointment with me today, at 11 am, but failed.
- Are you sick?
- Doctor Scully, I can not tell.
- I understand, although I am not currently practicing doctor. In any case, it is a matter of emergency, because I need and I have not been able to locate all day.
- Agent Well, if you come over here I'll let you know that you need.
- Thank you Dr. Moore.
- Sure, you're either Agent Scully.
hang up the phone. Y.. What now?
lowered his head, close my eyes and cover my face with my hands.
try to keep under control the feeling of anxiety that threatens to overtake me and make me cry. Who are not cheating. I can not help it.
My eyes were wet. Something bad is has happened, not how or why, but I know.
My mother told me as a child, some people develop a rapport so strong that they can feel what the other is feeling, and that father and she had occasionally experienced something similar. I never believed it was true, or even years later when I read in several psychology texts.
Soon Mulder know, however, I began to feel things, I now understand, were signs of empathy to a very deep level. And what I feel now at this very moment, definitely confirmed.
Mulder is in danger, is frightened and needs me. I can feel it all over my body.
- Mulder Do not worry, I'm coming for you, not how, but I will find you -
mumble while I raise my eyes and I wipe a tear that has not fallen.
continued ...
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